Success doesn't come without sacrifice. But could your pursuit of delayed gratification be leading you straight into the burnout trap? In today's episode, we uncover the hidden cost of delayed gratification and explore how it can impact your wellbeing. Hey friend, welcome to today's episode. Today, we are diving into the hidden dangers of delayed gratification and its potential to lead to burnout. My aim today is quite simple. It is to get you to genuinely examine your approach to success. And if God helps us, by the end of this episode, you will learn to utilize the power of delayed gratification without sacrificing your wellbeing. I have to tell you, I have been so tired and stressed out this week. And the Lord had to remind me of certain things. It's funny actually, because the Lord started to actually speak to me about this whole topic before I even got into the week. It's just, God is just so amazing. He knew what I needed and He was already giving me the provision of how to deal with it before I even entered the week. This week has, has been a lot, honestly, it's, it's been a lot. I have been so tired and I have wanted to take breaks, don't get me wrong. But the moment I decide. Okay. Maybe I can just rest tonight instead of recording that podcast episode or coming up with podcast ideas. Or studying ahead of the fall semester. Each time I feel like taking a break from all that, I immediately think about the fact that I am taking a week off in July. And I'm gonna to get to rest then. So why do I need to take the break that I need to take now? You get it? I was constantly in this battle of, well, I do have vacation coming up soon, I am going to be seeing family soon and this and this and that. And so maybe I can just keep powering through today, I can just keep going until that time, and hopefully I'm not going to break down. And I think in a way this stems from maybe me feeling like I don't deserve to have fun now because I have already scheduled my fun to be had at some time in the near future. And this is one thing with we perfectionists. We tend to want to schedule everything. And so you've scheduled vacations. You've made all these amazing plans of the day that you go to the spa, the day that you do this, the day that you do that. And so when suddenly life creates an opening before you to be able to do some of those things, you feel like, well, I already have a scheduled, so, you know, I probably don't want to do that now. Let me just keep slaving away. Let me just keep struggling through. Vacation time is going to come and I'm going to get to have fun then. And when I was battling this all week the Lord kept reminding me of the danger of delayed gratification. So many times you hear people say delayed gratification is essential for achieving long-term goals. You have to sacrifice now and reap the benefits later. And I do not disagree with with all those things, don't get me wrong. But it's like, we are constantly being told to put in the hard work to make all these sacrifices and to delay any immediate rewards all in pursuit of success. But what if this relentless pursuit actually comes at a cost. The Lord was teaching me that in as much as things sometimes appear to happen suddenly, they actually happened gradually. Until finally compounding into that thing that we see at the end and we're like, wow. So if that is the case, and I am here pursuing this master's degree, I am pursuing this career advancement by taking classes and doing projects and doing all these things, even outside the degree that I'm pursuing. And I'm doing all these things gradually, then why do I think that taking care of myself must wait? I realized this week that my not taking mini breaks because I have planned seemingly bigger breaks in the very near future is what leads to burnout. And so just as the Lord did for me, I think that it is time for us to shine some light on the hidden consequences of delayed gratification. We have to be honest with ourselves and realize that this relentless drive that we have towards whatever goal, whatever thing, whatever thing it is that you are delaying all your victories now, all your happiness now for. This act of delayed gratification, if you don't control it, if you don't balance it, it's only going to push you to your limits, it is going to drain all your energy and it's going to overwhelm you. Burnout is the price we pay when we neglect our needs in the name of delayed gratification. The constant hustle, the long hours, and the perpetual postponements of rewards, it really only leads to exhaustion. And honestly, you probably even begin to hate or dislike this thing that you are foregoing everything now for. We need to come to a place where we learn to properly navigate the delicate balance between ambition and self care. Because it is in this delicate balance that we actually come to discover the hidden costs of delayed gratification the toll it takes on our wellbeing and even on our relationship with God. So my goal today is simple. How can we find sustainable success without sacrificing our wellbeing? And I'm going to say it starts with recognizing the importance of self care and balance. As an African. I've grown up with so many expectations and most of these expectations have largely been unsaid. But you just know your parents expect you to do this, this person expects you to do that. And so all my life, I have been chasing this thing, trying to get to the top, trying to get to the pinnacle of it all. I have a hard to learn the hard way to prioritize rest, to prioritize my wellbeing. And to know that it is not a sign of weakness. If anything, at all, this is the best investments you can make for long-term success. When I was back in community college, I was still living with my mom then. This has been a couple of years ago already. And I would come home from school and I just wanted to finish whatever assignments I had before I ate. And my mom would always say to me, So now you have to be well so that you can continue studying. You can't just keep studying, studying, studying, and not take care of yourself. You have to eat. And I wouldn't get annoying sometimes because it's like, once I'm in the groove of things, you know, if I get distracted, it's going to take a while to come back into it. And I just want to finish. I'm like I can eat, I can finish this in the next hour and then I can eat. Let me just delay it for a little longer. Thinking that what I was doing was some act of strength. Something that showed how focused I was. Something that showed how serious I was and how dedicated and committed I was to my studies. But I was really just fooling myself. It's so crucial, I think, for us to learn how to establish boundaries, but also set realistic expectations. If you know that this thing you want to achieve will probably take you one year. Don't say you're going to do it in six months. Like no one is chasing you. Life is not a race. In as much as it may look like a race, everyone is on their own, doing their own thing. And you don't want to get distracted by looking at what someone else is doing. You have to focus on your path, stay on your path. It doesn't matter how long it takes you to get there. What matters is that you got there and you learn some things along the way. You have to learn to give yourself permission to celebrate small victories along the way. Because if you don't do that, how are you going to acknowledge the progress that you've made? It would just feel like you're on this endless journey trying to achieve something. Case in point, a degree. You're in school, for maybe, two years, three years. I'm in school right now and it's like, yes, I do want to get that master's degree. But I also don't want to kill myself because I look back over my undergrad journey and I realized that there was so many times that I could have gone on that lunch with my friend. There were so many times that I could have gone to the beach when my friends that 4th of July holiday, instead of staying home to study. I could have actually done those things and still gotten all the A's I got. I could have done those things and still kept my scholarships. I didn't have to slave away all that time until I finally got that degree. And when I started grad school, I told myself that I wasn't going to repeat those things, no. I told myself I was going to make sure that I prioritized my social life. That I went out with friends if I had to that I would rest, for 10 hours if I have to. And it's been easier said than done. But each day, I've been challenging myself to do better. And the we have done that is to take time to just sit down and reflect. And see that, okay, I may not be where I want to be yet, but I have come a long way and I'm making some progress, and I have to celebrate those victories. I have to celebrate that progress. Because if you don't do that, it would just seem like you're in this loop that is never ending. No, you have to carve out time, carve out days. Wow, I'm in this three year program but I've made it one year through, I've made it two months in and I've not given up. God has helped me this far. And so I thank you, Lord. And to celebrate, I'm going to take myself out to dinner or, whatever it is, whatever celebration looks like for you, take some time out to actually celebrate the progress that you're making. Self-care is, it's not a luxury it's a necessity. And it is by doing these little things that you learn to incorporate activities that nourish your mind, your body, and your soul. It is in doing these little things. It's not going to come natural at first. But before you know it, it it's going to become you, it's going to become what you do, it's going to become a routine. That no, I understand that I am in school, I'm trying to keep my grades up. I just got this job, I'm trying to look good, I'm trying to get that promotion. But I'm not going to stay up an hour late today to study. I'm not going to stay up three hours today to finish that job. It can wait, whatever it is, can wait till tomorrow. But my self care, that cannot wait. Because if I don't do what I have to do to take care of myself now, then the work and everything else that I think I'm sacrificing for is going to suffer for it tomorrow. And while we are even talking about taking time to celebrate your little victories and all that, please, please, please take breaks. Mini breaks. It doesn't matter if you have a one month vacation coming up. If you need a one day break now, please take care. Be mindful of taking care of yourself. And learn, find some hobbies, something that can help you replenish your energy and prevent burnout. Something that is fun. Something that you can do. Something that you, you specially carve out time for to do so that it can take your mind away from whatever goal it is that you are trying to accomplish. I personally believe that any routine that prevents you from prioritizing your health is not worth it. Yes, there are seasons in life that come with your having to make a lot of sacrifices. There are seasons that come with your having to be very disciplined. But we need to learn to take care of ourselves even in the midst of chaos. If it means taking that extra long shower, do it. If it means sleeping for that extra five minutes, even if it means you may have to take more of a quicker shower to get out of the door, do it. If it means that you have to close that book and go spend an hour with your friends who invited you to that lunch, do it. As Christians, yes, we are called to be diligent. We are called to be steadfast in our pursuits. But we must also remember that our bodies, our minds, our spirits, they are precious gifts from God and we really should not take it for granted. If for nothing at all, we are called to love and care for our neighbors as ourselves. But we can only fulfill this commandment when we prioritize self care and avoid the pitfalls of burnout. Taking time off to rest, to rejuvenate, it allows us to be better, yes. But not just for ourselves, it allows us to be better to serve others and to honor God with our lives. This week I started working out again, I started trying to eat right again after many months of not doing so. And this is a good thing. But I was trying to do this all the while killing myself to get through a substantial portion of this online course that I'm taking while also working full-time. While also trying to get this podcast up and running. And while I was doing all this, I realized that I wasn't really doing most of these things because I wanted to. But I was doing them because I wanted to be able to tell my friends that I've been up to some good. I want it to be able to tell my friend when he comes to ask me how are you doing, when she comes to ask me girl, how you've been? I can say girl, I've been working out, I've been getting my steps in, I've been eating clean. And I was doing all of these things so that I could have a good report to give, but not so I would actually be healthier as a person. And this brings me to my next point. How do you define success? And what is driving you? To chase that thing that you think would bring you status or whatever it is you're looking for. Is your definition of success solely based on external achievements? Or does it include your overall wellbeing and fulfillment? Do you define success as ticking all these worldly boxes of education, career, relationships, money? Why are you even going on this daily grind in the first place? Is it so you can hear well done from men.? Or is it so you can hear well done from God? If we want to truly create a balance between our callings, our ambitions, and taking care of ourselves, then I think that we first need to surrender those things to God. We need to really surrender and seek His guidance and wisdom in our pursuits. Because it is only by aligning our desires with His will that we can find peace and balance in our journey. The practice of delayed gratification requires discipline and perseverance, yes. But we must also guard against placing our identity and our worth solely in our achievements. Because our true worth lies in our identity as children of God, and not in what we accomplish. So if you find yourself chasing all these goals for the year, if you find yourself chasing that promotion at work, if you find yourself trying to do that two year degree in one year, if you find yourself trying to be the best at that thing so you can get the applause of men for doing it, then I beg you to re-examine your"why" and to throw yourself at the feet of the Father and ask Him to help you. Ask Him to help you re-define what you think you are doing? Ask Him to help you learn how to prioritize what is most important? And ask Him to tell you what is the best way to go about this life that He has blessed you with. As we wrap up today's episode, I want to emphasize that our pursuit of success should never overshadow our connection with God or compromise our wellbeing. Success is not worth compromising your health and happiness over. No. So please, please, please embrace the wisdom of scripture. If God rested, then you have to rest. Yes, the Word calls us to, to be diligent, to be hard working. But it also calls us to rest, it also calls us to take care of this body that the Lord has given us. And so I want to encourage you from today, to redefine what success means to you. To pat yourself on the back for the progress you've made so far. To take yourself out to celebrate how far you've come. But above all, I want to encourage you to find the rest in His Presence so that you can discover the joy of a balanced and purposeful living. And I pray that, that the Lord will help you find rest in Him even as you learn to prioritize the demands that come with the path that He has placed you on. I hope you learned a thing or two. And until next time, keep thriving!