It is currently 7:15 PM staying on July 27th, 2023. I'm not quite sure yet what I am going to be saying in this episode, but hey, keep listening. Hey friend. Welcome back to another episode. Wow, it is episode six already. I cannot believe it, but here we are. I think this week we are going to do another. Recap, catch up miniseries here, and I hope you enjoyed this episode, so let's delve right in. This past week has been very insightful. It's been stressful. It's been, I'm not really sure what it's been, but I've had a crappy mood for the most part of the week. am still trying to pinpoint. Exactly what the problem has been, but for the most part, I've been unusually irritated on almost all the days of this week. But I guess it's just one of those weeks, one of those days where things are going all right, it's not like things are going a certain way. It's not like things are happening that I'm not happy with. It's just. You just, you just feel so low, you just are not in the mood for most things. And that's how I've been feeling for the most part of this week. But today has been a better day, if I do say so myself today, I've had a lot of different interactions with people at work, um, personal life, and just all over. I'm not sure yet what direction this is gonna go in, but I pray that through this, whatever I say, that someone will be blessed, someone will learn something from it, and that someone will pick something, and that at the end of the day, what the Lord wants me to say is what I'll ultimately say here. a few weeks ago I celebrated my two year work anniversary. I don't know if you celebrated is the right word. Well, celebrated is one of the words that I would use to describe what happened. two years in corporate America, two years in this Fortune 100 FinTech company. Two years doing something that I don't think I particularly enjoy, but I am getting better at every day. Two years of questioning myself, two years of doubting myself, two years of, for the most part, hating some of the things that have come with the job. Two years of getting to know people, Two years of learning how to work with a certain group of people. And two years, quite honestly, of God's goodness, God's faithfulness, and God just coming through every day, every angle. In some way, in some form. And. I'm not that far into career at all. I mean, hey, I'm just 24 and wow. Oh my God, I'm growing old. Every time I think about my age, I'm just, oh gosh, where are the years flying? You know, as much as the years are flying though, there are also a lot of lessons that are coming with it. There are a lot of good times, there are a lot of bad times as well, but ultimately, Those bad times do end up working in my favor, do end up working for my good. And so I would say that in all the years are flying, but they're coming with some good things along the way. Lately at work, I guess, let me start with this. I got promoted at work a couple of weeks back, well, a day or so leading up to my two year anniversary. And to be quite honest, it hasn't sunk in that I was deemed capable of. Performing at that level, hence the promotion. It's actually taken me, I think, this week to actually realize what has happened. There's been a lot of congratulations, people saying, Hey, you totally deserve it. You really work for this, and I've really been questioning myself. Did I really work for this? Do I really deserve it? Because to be quite honest, I doubt myself on the daily. I can tell you how many days I have questioned myself, doubted myself sitting behind the computer with my task in front of me, but not even knowing where to start. Let me not even go far. I literally experienced that. Today. I work as an IT auditor, and if you're familiar with the auditing process, we typically. Write up a bunch of what we call work papers, documenting testing that we've done on certain controls, and it typically goes through two to three levels of review And often than not, those reviews come back with comments that you need to address, and the whole goal is to make sure that the team is producing quality work papers, right. So today I got back some comments for one of my work papers, and if I tell you I spent the first half of the day just staring at the comments, going to do something else, coming back to it and just thinking, what exactly am I supposed to do? I don't know where to start. I don't know what I'm supposed to say to this person. I don't know what answer I'm supposed to give This person asking me this question like, Am I not the one who did this initial documentation? How come I suddenly cannot think on how to respond to some of these review comments? Some of which were honestly just questions about the documentation that I have done. There have been many days like that over the last two years, many days where I felt like I've somehow cheated the system, that I'm just here. Maybe because God favored me and I don't really know what I'm doing. God, why would you put me here? I am clearly not good enough. I'm clearly not smart enough for this. Why am I here is the question I've been asking myself since day one, and I still do not know the answer, but I think that God has been showing me in little ways every day that you are here because I put you here. And until I fully recognize my reason for being here, I'm going to keep trusting. I'm going to keep leaning on him every step of the way because honestly, I cannot do this journey

without him.

So in the midst of my doubting myself today, staring at those review comments and not even knowing where to begin, this person who had left those comments on the said work paper had reviewed another work paper of mine and. That was the work paper that I honestly thought was the worst work paper that I had done in this last audit that we are just trying to conclude. In my mind, I felt like my documentation was all over the place because had to kind of rush it at the last minute. I didn't really have time to put in my best efforts like I would've wanted to. and so once I realized the reviewer was gonna take a look at that, I just prayed to God, God, please God, please And the prayer I was just praying is, Make straight whatever crooked path that I have in that documentation. And at the time, it didn't really make sense to me how I was even saying those words because what are you talking about? What path is in the documentation? I, God is going to make straight. But in my spirit, I knew that I had not put my best work out there. I, I just felt like I had not done my best because of the time limitations that were attached to that audit. And so I was really nervous. I thought, gosh, if this one that I thought I had even done to my best ability has come back with these review comments that I'm not even sure where to begin addressing them, then how many comments is this one that I don't even think I did my best on going to come back with? And I kid you notes, it's currently still in the review stages, but. The reviewer came and asked me a question, and when I responded, in summary, what he said to me was, I really documented this well, and this was a complicated procedure, but my documentation flowed well, and I just said Thank you to him in that moment, but knowing that God had indeed gone in there. Straightening up the things that I was worrying about was the highlight of my day for me, not because I'm leaving my work for God to do, or I just want to be handheld all the time, but because once again God came through and show that he was faithful and aside showing that he was faithful in giving me the favor that I need before men. He also gave me the wisdom. To do things in the way that I had done them, because the process I used was not the usual process that would have been used. And just seeing that as I was documenting that thing, even though I was pressed for time, I was praying to God. God gave me wisdom. God gave me wisdom. God gave me wisdom. God gave me wisdom as I carry this thing out. Give me wisdom. That God actually gave me the wisdom to approach my testing and my documentation in a way that has now stood out to be worthy of the comment. Great work center. And I don't know if this means anything to you, but to me, I can tell you that it means a lot to me because each day that I go to the office that I see all these people, with all these titles, I question myself, do I deserve to be here? And although I still don't think I deserve to be here, I know that my father has put me here. If he has put me here, then there must be a reason for it, and I'm willing to let go of all this imposter syndrome day and then day out and just really trust and lean on him to guide me every step of the way that every day. Before I begin to work, I'm going to ask him, Lord, give me the wisdom that I need to tackle everything that is assigned to me today. And even as you're giving me the wisdom to tackle those things, give me the favor before whoever is going to look upon my work that whatever they see will be something that is reflective of excellence, will be something that is reflective of the wisdom that you have poured into me. Whoever makes any decision that affects the grading of my work that I'll find favor with that person. And that is one prayer that I've been praying that has really been helping me combat this imposter syndrome because truly auditing auditing is not something that I've ever had an interest in. I never did. Accounting in school It's still largely a mystery how I got into this role, and it's a mystery because God orchestrated all this and I don't know how. I don't know why, but I'm here. And so far, so far, he's been working through me so far. He's been helping me each step of the way, and even though I doubt myself on the daily, He's been holding my hand and he's been guiding me and he's been writing those work papers with me. He's been processing things together with me and we've been doing it together, and I think that is a thing that is helping me stand out in this corporate America world because if I did not have God truly, I don't know how. I would be standing, I don't know how I would be going through most of the things. I don't know how I would be getting all these quote unquote praises from managers, from directors, from people at the VP level. So I just wanna use this to encourage someone today. I know that imposter syndrome is very real. It's something that most people that I know have heard talk about, and your job may not be like mine where you're necessarily sitting behind the computer, but some way somehow. Sometimes you still find yourself feeling like you are not capable of carrying out a task that you have been carrying out over the last five years, for instance, because you feel like God put you in a certain place and in your mind, You know that you do not put yourself there, and so You are feeling incapable of meeting the expectations of that level that you have been placed at, but can I tell you that if God put you there, then he was not expecting you to go at it alone. He's expecting you to continue to lean on him the same way you leaned on him. To get you into that place, you have to continue to lean on him. To get you through that place until the next assignment, until the next placements that he gives you. the highlights of my week has really been how simple prayers that I have been praying each night before bed or each morning before I log onto work. How obscene those prayers come to life. Just little prayers. there wasn't any speaking in tongues, there wasn't anything but just sincerely opening my heart up and telling God that, you know something, I don't think I did my best on that work paper, but I'm pleading with you that you go before the reviewer and you make straight every crooked path in that documentation that anything that I missed, anything that I may have overlooked. that by your divine power, you sort it out for me and literally in hours I saw God come through. Now, is this to say that because of imposter syndrome, some days you feel down and oh, you're not gonna put your best foot forward? No. What I'm trying to say is that, On the days when you feel like you just cannot do it, that you remember that you have a father, that you remember that unlike the other people that you're seated with in that office, you are not like them. You have a father in heaven who is willing to help you every step of the way. Can I challenge you? I know this work week has ended, but as next week approaches when you get to work, before you leave home, before you get to the office, whether you're working from home, whatever your working situation is. That you would take a step of faith and that you would pray and commit whatever task that you have to perform into God's hands, that you will ask God for wisdom, to lead you, to direct you, to show you how to go about that thing, Now you would pray and ask for the spirit of excellence to show forth in all that you do, not so that you can hear well done and be pleased with yourself, but so that people can begin to see that there is something different about you. There is something extra ordinary about you. So that they can be drawn to you and begin to ask you, what is your secret? What is the thing that makes you thrive at what you do? What is that thing that is making you produce such excellent work papers? And then you can share with them that you know something. I do indeed have a secret, but it is not a secret that is meant to remain a secret. It's a secret that I'm willing to share with you as long as you're willing to listen. Because it is not always through us going and standing on the streets and saying, Jesus is your savior. God loved you. He came, he died for you and this and this and that. No, sometimes it is through these little ways that we begin to. Open up people to the gospel that. Because we begin to reflect Jesus in all we do. The gospel begins to become a reality to the people around us who are watching. I, I don't know if I've made any sense, but I'm hoping that you've picked something. And the summary of what I'm hoping that you picked is that I know it can get tough sometimes at work. I know sometimes you feel like you can do this on your own, but just call on God, lean on him, ask him to help you. Trust me, he is going to help you and I pray that you find peace at your workplace, that the Lord will teach you. That the Lord will give you discernment of how to go about each day, of which people to draw closer to, and that he would open your eyes to what he needs you to accomplish in that workplace so that at the end of the day, we can return all the glory to him. Until next time. Keep thriving.